that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize