I need help removing her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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