as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
