Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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