well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
