just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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