even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
