ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dear god my vagina.
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