Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize
