Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
