omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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