i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize