That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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