wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
