SEEEEXXX PLEASE
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
