Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
