She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
