It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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