i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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