What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
