I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
