The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
