got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
