Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
3pm strippers are depressing
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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