At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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