I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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