I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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