She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
