you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
