Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize