I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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