If i come over, it means nothing
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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