Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
