i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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