I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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