I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Can I color on your dick again?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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