Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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