summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
