So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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