so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.