if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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