Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
