She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
