Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
where am i from again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize