if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
