I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize