im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
