she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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