I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
