Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just blew my weed a kiss
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
