addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
