Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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