Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
