I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm too high and old for this...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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