Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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