Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
