Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize