we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
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he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
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We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.