you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
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we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
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I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...