He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?