the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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