at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
