i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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